New year’s resolutions are great and a good kick-start, but they are too short-term.
Happy New Year to anyone reading this, I pray that the start of the New Year meets you well.
Everyone is back to work, back to school, probably 10 pounds heavier, this is when the new year resolutions start kicking in, lose weight, eat healthy, start going to church more often, endless declarations come in of how 2018 will be your year of breakthrough, abundance, insert whatever grandiose superlative you wish to describe 2018.
To be honest I don’t have any New Year resolutions this year. This year I will be turning 30 in May, so 2018 is actually quite a big year for me. This year is the first time in my life I started thinking about legacy and what I want to have 20, 30 years from now, maybe I am growing up I don’t really know, I find that a new year’s resolution has to be something that moves you towards a long-term goal of what you actually want your life to look like in a few years’ time.
Guaranteed 2018 may very well be your year, but what about 2020, 2036, 2050?!, New year’s resolutions are great and a good kick-start, but they are too short-term, for me anyway, nevertheless 2018 can still be your year if you so desire, these tips are what I plan to implement in my life, please don’t quote me and don’t get mad, if come 31 December 2018, and you realize 2018 ,was actually a pretty tough year for you, all good things will come in due time, to them who work hard, are expectant and trust the Lord.
Stay off social media
Hmmm even as I am writing this I know I this is for me, social media is great for entertainment, distraction, business, networking, gossiping, being up to speed with what is going on but very bad for personal development, very bad.
Firstly, it is a waste of time on mindless activity that really doesn’t add value, unless you are very mindful of who you follow and what content you allow to enter into your consciousness, chances are you are being sub-consciously fed a lot of images and words that really don’t add a significant value to your personal development, yes I know there are weight loss gurus, spiritual counsellors and a host of other content that offer help and inspiration to people's life, but by and large it’s mostly just endless gossip we go to read at Theshaderoom or instablog9ja.
Once in a while escapism is good but when it becomes the order of the day there is a problem, all that time spent arguing pointlessly or passing idle comments on social media can be used to pursue your passions, chase your dreams, hell even just sleeping is better than spending idle time on social media. Another problem I have is that social media encourages hive mentality and encourages us to seek social validation unnecessarily, how many times have you seen (I’m guilty of this too) , so many people jump on various bandwagon just because it is trending, without understanding the critical nuances that are involved in a situation.
Resist the urge to repost or repeat what you see just because it is popular or trending, try to think critically about why such and such is happening, and honestly share less, especially about your personal life, there was a time when people got engaged, got married, got divorced, died without people who weren’t close to them not knowing a thing about this, times have changed.
As a growing business owner I love social media, as someone who loves to write and has a curious mind I love social media, but I’m beginning to develop a disdain for the unhealthy ego trip and feeding of my vanity that it sometimes may provide to me unknowingly, the truth is that the exposure of social media has led to countless growth in opportunities for SME’s, but somethings need to stay personal and private, not only do you need to be careful about the losses you share, but also your successes.
You are exposing pieces of you to countless of people who don’t even know you personally, but are making judgments about your personality based on the images and words you put out, you are letting people into your lives everyday whether you choose to recognize it or not, be very calculated about your image and presence.
You also have to be careful to ensure that, you are not building a persona online that is really not you, don’t get carried away by the likes and the comments, be sure that who you are online is who you are in real life. Before there was Instagram there was MySpace, and after Instagram/twitter/snapchat there will be something else don’t get too caught up in the hype, anything more than 20 minutes a day on social media minus posting or responding to dm’s is a waste of time, if it’s not making you money then it really doesn’t make any sense to spend that long on social media apps I’m sorry.
Embrace your differences
You must learn to be comfortable with the things that make you different, we all cannot be the same, and we all come with our individual quirks and that is what makes us who we are. I have always felt my entire life, like I have never really fit in. Most people don’t know this, (maybe they do), but by nature I’m a loner and I am also an ambivert which means, I have both introverted and extroverted traits which makes me always feel like I’m in between. The truth is what we are always searching and looking for something/someone who is different, nobody wants the status quo, even Jesus wasn’t the status quo in his time.
There is a reason and a purpose why God made you the way you are, you must get comfortable with yourself, do not try to fit into a box that was not made for you, what works for Tola may not work for Chioma. Take time to learn and study yourself, pick friends that make you feel that it’s ok to be you, surround yourself with people who validate and see you for who you are.
There is a reason why Beyoncé is Beyoncé there is no other female in her industry who is quite like her. Don’t waste time wishing you were someone else or you had someone’s looks, or their charm or their elegance, or their intelligence, or their taste in fashion, that only breeds envy and you start looking down on yourself and soon enough low self-esteem will begin to fester.
Always remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are unique and one of a kind, for as long as the earth has been and will be, there will be nobody ever like you, you came to earth with your own unique assignment and calling, you were destined to have a particular career path, meet a particular partner, and reflect your creator in your own way, why would you want to trade that for being at best a poor copy of someone else.
Read a lot
Finding time to read is hard, finding spare time to do anything these days is hard, most especially books, most of us have sworn off books since we left school, but the truth is that knowledge is great power, and in order to acquire knowledge you have to read.
Make time this year to read, I know it’s very common this time of the year for us to focus on self-help books but don’t stop there please, read as extensively as you can and as time permits, if you ever wanted to learn how to cook certain dishes etc. find a book and read.
If you ever wanted to know how the world operates find a book on politics and read in 2018, vow to be knowledgeable. Don’t let your information on politics be solely based on CNN or Facebook, or anything else for that matter, even read fiction and romance novels because honestly they make you more imaginative, and who knows what kind of creativity can be sparked from imaginative thinking.
Part two will be continued next week.
Written by Ndidi Ndekwu
Picked up the writing bug, when I was about 5/6 currently trying to share my experiences and stories, faith through words, full time graduate student at ohio university, part time blogger-http://ift.tt/2fQeT6u, sometimes entrepreneur bubo hair and beauty.
I can be reached via email at ndidindekwu@gmail.com, on IG:@ndidi_a