I only reach orgasm when I play with myself.
Dear Sarah,
I need more tips on how to achieve orgasm. I've never reached it with my husband before but pretend to do. I only reach orgasm when I play with myself.
Dear anonymous,
A lot of women find it hard to communicate to their partner what they really want in bed.
This is due to many reasons from lack of self-confidence to lack of self-awareness. However, not all women have the luxury of being with a man who is skilled in bed. Every woman deserves sexual satisfaction but unfortunately, most women don't reach orgasm.
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So, to experience better sex, here are a few tips to keep in mind.
You should be patient with your partner. If your partner isn’t giving you sexual satisfaction, it’s important to stay patient with them and be encouraging.
When they do something that you like, let them know how much it turned you on or satisfied you. Encourage them to do what you really enjoy, without telling your partner what they’re doing wrong. Men are actually very sensitive when it comes to their bedroom techniques and can sometimes be put off if you criticize them.
Another important way to let him know you are not having fun in the bedroom is by communicating with him.
If encouraging your partner to do the things you like isn’t working, it might be time to have an honest, open discussion with them about how you’re not feeling satisfied sexually. Again, this is not a conversation where you want to be critical or talk down to down to your partner. When discussing your sexual needs with your partner, make it all about you.
Also, get to know what turns you on. Some women have a hard time figuring out what turns them on. Compare this to men; for the most part, it’s very easy to figure what turns a man on. This can actually be a fun time for you.
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To know what turns you on, try self-exploration on this one because unlike men, what turns women on is a bit less ‘clear cut’. Once you know what turns you on, experiment with him in bed. If you know what turns you on, don’t be afraid to tell him.
Finally, you both can engage in lots of foreplay and you should open your mind to various ideas and possibilities. Teach your husband what you like. Play sex games. It's your husband, so you should feel free to be shameless around him, really let loose.