It is fast becoming a sound bite to hear men say they want strong women in their lives; but how many of them really understand what they're asking for?
Pretty much like the way many Nigerian women seem to have been wired to automatically say they need a God fearing man when asked what they want in a partner; men, too, seem to gravitate more towards a woman that is strong, independent and has her own stuff going for her.
It is fast becoming a soundbite to hear men say they want a ‘strong woman,’ which in its true essence, means someone who has her life in order, is also loyal and possesses other things that relationships need to thrive. She really doesn’t need anyone to make sense of her life but still understands the power and importance of having someone in it who complements her, so she’s not averse to the idea of being in a relationship or marriage.
Many men seem to be falling in line with the idea of being with this type of woman and there really isn’t anything bad about this. At least, for a change, we finally see men ditching the need for blindly submissive women with no spine or a voice of their own.
What’s left to be said is that anyone who desires a strong woman needs to understand that it’s a full package. With her financial and other forms of independence comes a conditional respect and submission - you act right, you get those; you don't, you get treated as you deserve.
The strong woman won’t lie low and allow herself be trampled on. She will hold you to certain high standards, just as she she’ll respect your role in her life as her man. She holds her own, and as much as she concedes and compromises, you may not be able to take her for a ride.
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[Men] don’t understand that strong women are immensely complicated beings and that they ask a lot of the men they date. These ladies know their worth and demand what they need – whereas men seem to only think about the sizzle factor of a woman who can dominate them in the bedroom,” writes Amy Horton of Thoughts Catalogue in February 2018.
Derrick Jackson, American self love coach sums it up in a tweet when he posts on August 22 that:
“Some men only love women they can control. He loved her beauty til she wouldn’t fck him, now she’s “stuck up.” He loved her hustle til she wouldn’t lend him money, now she’s “selfish.” He loved her intellect til she corrected his grammar, now she “thinks she knows everything.”"
As much as she wants to love and stay married, it won't not translate to a blind submission to you or a senseless obsequiousness on her part, and she will neither be scared nor unable to call you out on your bullshit.
If your idea of a strong woman only stops at the parts where she exhibits all the traits of financial independence and unflinching support for you, but excludes the part where she stringently holds you to the high standards mentioned here and more, then you really need to ask yourself again: can I really handle having a strong woman in my life?