Submission In Marriage: Demystifying the concept that has held most women captive

Submission In Marriage: The truth about the concept that has held most women captive

If you submit yourselves to God, it will be easy for the husband to submit and serve the wife and vice-versa.

Submission has been the most discussed topic among many couples, and in some religious circles. Its application has left most women, who sadly have been the victims on the receiving end.

We will start by breaking down Ephesians 5: 21 – 22 (KJV), the scripture that has been in the center of this subject or controversy, if you like.

We will also look at it from the Message translation to get a better understanding of what Paul was trying to communicate.

It is my understanding that Paul was not speaking of submission from the standpoint of oppression or lording over your wife.

Submit might have been inserted

Before we dive in fully, it will interest you to know that some bible scholars have suggested that the word Submit was missing in the Original Greek.

According to Equality Work book, “In the oldest available Greek manuscripts of the New Testament (Parchment 46 and Codex Vaticanus), Ephesians 5:22 does not say, “Wives submit to your husbands.”[ii]  Neither the heading, “Wives Submit to Your Husbands,” nor the additional phrase in Ephesians 5:24 telling wives that they “ought to be” submissive can be found in any Greek manuscripts whatsoever.

In this passage, the apostle Paul introduces the idea of “submission” in Ephesians 5:21.  After telling all Christians to “be filled with the Spirit” in Ephesians 5:18, he then explains what this will look like: “submitting one to another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21).  In other words, all Christians who are filled with the Holy Spirit are to relate to one another with Christ-like humility and a willingness to serve.  Ephesians 5:22  then adds the phrase “wives to your husbands” as an example of what this mutual submission will look like.

They further argue that “be filled with the Spirit” is the imperative verb; “submitting one to another” is a participle phrase (that describes being filled with the Spirit); and “wives to your husbands” is yet another phrase that qualifies “submitting one to another” by providing an example.  Simply put, “wives to your husbands” is not a complete sentence; it cannot stand on its own as a separate command. 

"There is no new and separate command directed only to wives.  Patriarchal translators create the illusion that there are two different kinds of commands–one in Ephesians 5:21 directed to all Christians, and another in Ephesians 5:22 directed exclusively to wives.  The added command appears to reinforce a gender-based hierarchy in Christian homes.  It is important to recognize that this is not grammatically possible in the Greek text of the oldest available manuscripts.  It is only possible if a second imperative verb is inserted into verse 22.[iii]  The submission that exists in marriage from wives to husbands is one example of the humility and loving service that all Christians who are filled with the Spirit are called upon to demonstrate.”

 

Also, one thing you must understand was the patriarchal nature of the Jews, which did not favour women at that time.

You can see that played out in many instances in the scripture and in narratives which Paul himself made. This is not the subject of today’s discussion though.

From the beginning

Let us also take out time to see God’s original intention about marriage.

God’s intention for marriage was for the man and his wife to live together as one united entity, working together partners, co-heirs.

You can see that in Genesis 2 vs 24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be[a] joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

The fall of man brought about these tussle for dominance. If you read Genesis 3:16. you will understand that God never intended for man to dominate woman or vice-versa.

Genesis 3 Vs 16: Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Death of Christ

The death and resurrection of Christ however abolished the effect of Adam and Eve’s transgressions, because Paul also let’s know in Galatians 3 that we are one in Christ.

Galatians 3 Vs 27-28 :  For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

Peter also highlighted that in 1 Peter. We will get to that.

Meaning of submission

Ephesians 5: 21-22 says Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord

The word submit is derived from a Greek word that means to put yourself under, to subject yourself to one’s control and it had two uses:

1. It was used as a military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader".

2. It was also used in non-military way and it meant "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".

So, using the non-military term, we could say that Paul adviced us to submit (assume responsibility, carry burden, have a voluntary attitude of giving in to each other) first in verse 21 of Ephesians 5.

Then he asked wives to do likewise to their husbands, that is, working with the general understanding that the word submit was in the verse.

 

As unto the Lord

Now, someone is saying what of the word ‘as unto the Lord’ used in verse 22?

The proper explanation of that line is in Colossians 3:23. I will present several versions starting from the KJV, to give you a better insight.

King James Version says:  And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

NET Bible says: Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people,

According to the Aramaic Bible in Plain English, And do all that you do with all your soul, as for Our Lord, and not as for the children of men.

GOD'S Word Translation says: Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly as though you were working for your real master and not merely for humans.

Whatever you are doing, let your hearts be in your work, as a thing done for the Lord and not for men - Weymouth New Testament

Another controversy in Ephesians 5:23

Another controversial verse is Ephesians 5 verse 23 which says: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

The keyword to notice here, is Head (Kephale in Greek) which has been taken to mean rulership, boss or master, and it is not true.

The Greek word Kephale, was translated from the Hebrew word Rosh, which also literally means the Physical head on a body.

Rosh also could be used as leader, ruler, boss and whenever the translators were to use these terms, they used the Greek word, Archon and not Kephale.

You must understand that Paul was talking to pagan Greeks who just converted to Christianity and he used the word, Kephale to properly pass his message because they understood and used it in the worship of their Gods.

Most of the pagan Greeks saw the Gods they worshipped was their ‘source’.

The Greek word translated Head in that scripture can also be likened to the physical head on your body.

 

Use of the Greek word, Archon in the bible

Archon can be translated as: ruler, official, magistrate, leader

An example can be seen in 1 Corinthians 2 vs 8 which reads: The wisdom which none of the rulers of this age has understood; for if they had understood it they would not have crucified the Lord of glory;

 The word ruler there is from the same Greek word – Archon

Also, Mathew 9:23 says When Jesus came into the official's house, and saw the flute-players and the crowd in noisy disorder…

You will find the word Archon used in several verses of the bible.

Back to the Greek word, Kephale

According to the translation from the new testament Greek, Kephale also connotes source or originator.

According to scholars, it signifies is that the husband is the source of the wife as Christ is the source of the Church.

In other words, the wife was created from the man, her husband, who is her nourisher, motivator just as Christ is the nourisher of the Church.

Culture of love

What Paul was actually communicating was a culture of love and not that of control, which he showed, by depicting Christ’s relationship with the Church.

Christ never forces us, his Church and his bride to do anything. He never lords his will over us. He lovingly guides us.

To make this clear, let’s see how the Message translation puts Ephesians 5 vs 23. It says: The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

 

In Colossians

You can also see Paul depict Christ as the source of everything in Colossians 1 verse 16-18: For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:

And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence.

Can you see that the same word, head is used here also to kind of summarise what he said in verse 16 and 17.

For those who would want to argue over the word, ‘pre-eminence’, in the Greek, it means: the first, foremost, number one.

Colossians 2 Vs 19

The scripture says: And not holding the Head, from which all the body by joints and bands having nourishment ministered, and knit together, increaseth with the increase of God.

Note that the word Head used here, is the same Greek word Kephale. The verse paints an exact picture of Christ’s relationship with the Church.

From the verse, you will see that Christ nourishes, ministers to, knits together and causes his Church to increase.

That is what the husband is expected to be or do to and for his wife.

Paul was painting this picture when he said in Ephesians 5:23 that: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Basically, he was saying treat your wife as Christ treated the Church.

In 1 Corinthians

You can also find the word Head being used in 1 Corinthians 11:3 where it says: But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

The word Head used here again, means source and not in a way of hierarchy. If it meant hierarchy, then you are saying that God is greater than Christ, which negates the oneness of the Trinity - the God head – That is the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost being one united entity.

Remember Jesus said in John 10:30: I and my father are one.

 

Going back to Ephesians chapter 5

From the above explanations, you will understand that Paul started from verse 21 to advise Christians to submit themselves to God, knowing that this in turn will affect the way you treat each other in the marriage with the help of the Holy Ghost who he referred to in verse 18.

18And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Simply put, you are first a Christian before a husband or wife and to live this life, you need the help of the Holy Spirit who will show you how to submit yourself to God first then, it will be easy to submit to one another.

Heirs together

1 Peter 3 Vs 7-10 says: 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.

I will like you to notice that verse 7 advised the man, among other things, to see his wife as heirs together of the grace of life.

It is my understanding that Paul also told the husband that his prayer might be hindered if he treats his wife badly.

 

Summary

Paul, in asking the wives to submit, was speaking in terms of one of the major needs of men – Respect.

Men want to be respected by their wives and to get the best out of your marriage, showing your husband respect will bring out the best in him.

He also addressed the need of women to be loved as you will soon see in the scripture below, and also urged the man to love his wife.

Paul also tried to show the effect which submitting yourself to God and the Holy Spirit would have on your marriage.

If you submit to God, it will be easy for the husband to submit and serve the wife and vice-versa.

He made it clear by also sharing how Christ leads the Church with love and not by force in verse 23.

 

Here is what Ephesians 5 vs 25 – 33 (MSG) says: 25-28Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

Thank you for finding time to read this article. If you disagree, kindly share your own opinion and let us learn.

Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post