The problem is that my brother seems to be wanting her back again. l don't know what to do.
Dear Bukky,
I’m madly in love with my brother's ex. The relationship is secret but it’s getting more serious.
l don't know what to do. l love her so much we are like soulmates. The other problem is that my brother seems to be wanting her back again. She has refused him and states that she has made up her mind. l don't want to hurt her. Please help l don't know what to do.
____________
Dear reader,
Let that relationship go now that you still can.
And here is why: there is a long-standing rule about exes, which many people hold in very high esteem.
That rule forbids friends, brothers, sisters and family members from [intentionally] going after a partner that someone close to them has once been with.
If you say you do not want to leave her because you fear that you’d hurt her in the process, then imagine how your brother would feel when he finds out that it is because of you that the babe is refusing to get back with him.
I do understand the chemistry and connection part you spoke of, I also understand that love can be found anywhere and in anyone, but this is one relationship that will likely be besieged by too many problems. And in my opinion, these are problems you do not need.
Let her go now. Each extra day you spend with her will make it more difficult to do so.
____________
He wants me to be his secret wife; should I?
Dear Bukky,
Please I need your advice I am 35-year-old woman. I had a son with a man that left me and travelled abroad to stay with another woman.
About 8 years ago, I met a man on Facebook who from Ireland. He came to Nigeria to see me but I was shy that I didn't allow him and I was also thinking I was too young for him.
Still we’ve kept in touch and now he is asking if I can marry him. He is married over there. He said he can handle it and that I should face him, and not the wife. This man has been there for me, what can I do?
_____________
There are no two ways to this – you cannot agree to this kind of arrangement.
I know that may seem like a tall order considering your age, and the kind if connection you have built with this man, but really, it’s not a great idea.
If he’s married, you cannot be messing with another woman’s marriage. And you also cannot shortchange yourself by willingly and intentionally going into a marriage that is built on a lie from the very first day. If he’s lying to the other woman about you, then he’s going to deny your existence to another woman who catches his fancy.
Don’t be blinded by the things you feel for him and the things he does for you. That he wants to marry another woman regardless of his marital status is a window into his heart. He’s not good for you.
If he’s not divorced, you should not say yes to that kind of man.
_____________
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