Three underrated reasons why you're not a great partner, and how it affects the smooth running of your relationship with your partner.
The list of things that could prevent a relationship from working smoothly are, in a way, inexhaustible; with each relationship having its own peculiar set of issues yet to be resolved, and differences yet to be settled.
Over time, some things may have become recognized as recurrent problems people in different relationships face. Cheating, unfaithfulness, disloyalty are some of such common, well-publicized relationship worries.
On the other hand, there are relationship misbehaviours that people hardly pay attention to; relationship issues that are left to grow unchecked and fester unhindered as people hardly pay any attention to their badness and their underrated ability to wreck relationships.
Three of these common but hardly-discussed relationship behaviours are listed here below:
1. Overthinking
People overthink their relationships, their partner’s actions, their partner’s words and so many things. It’s not said as frequently as it should be; but really, and really, that’s just not good enough.
Many times, overthink and overanalyze things many times is because they do not have a strong foundation of communication with their significant other.
When you have an unwavering base of communication in your relationship, it’d be difficult to burden yourself with thoughts that could easily be put to bed by simply communicating with your partner; asking them questions plainly and getting honest answers from them.
2. You don’t overlook
Communication is great for the growth and continued-existence of any relationship. However, as it is with every other great thing in life, too much of it isn’t so good.
While it is difficult to state matter-of-factly that there’s such thing as communicating too much, we can, at least, conclude that communicating your hurts too much, too frequently could be a problem in your relationship.
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What this means is that if a boyfriend or girlfriend always talks to the other about every little mistake that person makes, it could put in them a feeling of inadequacy and could breed resentment in them.
Don’t abuse the importance of communication in relationships. You need to overlook many things. Learn to let things slide. Allow your partner to be human. Let your communication about their faults and defects be infrequent. What needs to be regular is you gassing them up.
No one is saying you should not point out their errors when they make them, but pick your battles. Some mistakes are too minute, trivial to start a conversation over.
Learn to overlook such ones.
3. Preconceived notions
Who told you that the major thing your woman wants is money?
And who told you that sex is your man’s greatest need?
You cannot afford to go into a relationship armed with notions that are not influenced by the person you are dating at that period.
While some opinions about relationships may be popular, correct and even useful in your past relationship, they aren’t necessarily applicable to that new guy, or the new babe you just began a relationship with.
Whatever rules you heard, whatever one you have picked up in your relational experiences are all useless except ratified by this person you are dating now.
A large part of your ‘job description’ in a relationship is pleasing your partner. So whatever you do, no matter how well and nice, if they do not like it, is a waste of effort.