What is the strength of sex? How do we strengthen our sexual relationship? What can I do to strengthen good sex between me and my spouse? We are losing out on good sex. These are the types of questions I get from spouses who want something spectacular in their sexual encounters. I would love to say here that the two basic things to do in order to strengthen a good sex is to first teach your spouse what you want and also learn from your spouse unspoken sexual behaviours which we are going to enumerate below.
One, wives, please understudy and understand your husbands’ sexual fantasies. Most times, husbands wish their wives could understand their sexual fantasies, languages, signals and desires. Unfortunately, no matter how many times they try to pass these messages across, it seems that their wives would never grasp them. To such men, it is just like teaching an elephant to dance.
Two, I know there are many women who don’t like giving or receiving sex, but they did not arrive at this point just like that. I can assure you that there are lots of underlying reasons for such behaviour. Some of them think sex is dirty.
Three, naturally, it is generally assumed that sex is a bigger deal to a man than it is to a woman. In addition, it is believed that sex has no substitute in any meaningful relationship. Yes, there is no doubt about these sayings. However, why don’t women consider it a big deal? I think one major factor is for husbands to teach their wives what will suit their sexual preferences. I want to assure you husbands that your wives are willing to learn, if you will not give up.
Four, one of the best ways for husbands to help their wives to understand their sexual desires and language is to try as much as possible to be as good, as caring, as supportive and as understanding as possible while the teaching session is in process.
Five, however, long before this, they should locate the underlying negative factors; deal with them, and then start off on a good note.
Six, for instance, after the wedding ceremonies, the husbands would do well to continue the courtesies of courtship or perhaps re-kindle them. Then do things that will secure their wives’ love at all times.
Seven, in a good marriage, the main objective for the man should be to continually study his wife, learn to know her, grow with her and protect her.
Eight, sometimes you both need to sit together and make reappraisals to see how you are doing in the relationship. Genuinely ask yourselves about the things that both of you need to do in order to have a better union and a flourishing sex life.
Nine, obviously during the time of courtship, men, like hunters, hunt relentlessly for their prey and after marriage, they take the same prey for granted. You should not take your woman for granted because the monotony that results will definitely destroy the sexuality and the relationship.
Ten, keep love and affection growing by expressing love for your wife or it will die and both of you will drift apart.
Eleven, love and happiness are not found by seeking them for oneself, but rather by giving them to others.
Twelve, spend as much time as possible to do things together and learn to greet each other with enthusiasm.
Thirteen, such acts of courtesy were some of the reasons why your wife chose to spend the rest of her life with you in the first place. She imagined that if during courtship, you could be this nice, understanding, caring, loving, friendly, encouraging and tender, then spending the rest of her life with you would be the best decision she would ever make.
Fourteen, treat your wife as you would love to be treated. Please do not overlook little courtesies, especially the encouraging gestures and affection.
Fifteen, surprise her with un-ceremonious gifts.
Sixteen, try to out-love her.
Seventeen, brag about her when she is within earshot. Most times, she may pretend not to be listening, but deep inside she is happy and smiling. Such a woman will be ready to give her husband any sexual treat, however challenging or tasking it may appear.
Eighteen, if you treat your wife with extra courtesies, she will blossom. People tend to appreciate when they are the subjects of a worthwhile emotional investment. When you bring out the best sexual instinct and understanding in her, she will behave like one.
Nineteen, husbands should look for new ways to give their wives pleasure in bed. The fact that a husband is springing surprises is a form of an affectionate move towards the woman.
Twenty, do not be too aggressive sexually.
Twenty-one, women do not want you to zero in on penetrative sex or on their clits, as if you are a preying hunter that is ready to devour at a go. Instead, you should focus on turning her on.
Twenty-two, every woman loves it when her husband starts off by touching her non-sensitive parts. In fact, a simple romantic and sexual conversation could do the magic more than hasty and rough touches.
Twenty-three, romantic conversations are highly arousing and 97 per cent of wives are ready for any sexual moves when their husbands load them with plenty of romantic talk that is so caressing that it can open up any lady anytime and anywhere, even if she is icily frigid. This is the only place I think talk is not cheap.
Twenty-four, if you see her naked and it makes you feel like you haven‘t eaten in many weeks, go take a cold shower and return to the bedroom. Be invigorating, but not aggressive. You don‘t want to be so aggressive that you scare her away.
Twenty-five, wives want lovers with wandering hands. A woman likes to be felt. If you touch her too softly, she won‘t feel anything, but be careful not to overdo it.
Questions!!! Answers!!!
Once a cheat always a cheat
Funmi, can you believe it that my wife cheated on me, all because I have challenge with chronic premature ejaculation and I found out. Although she said it was a mistake and that it would never repeat itself, I love my wife but I am broken and wounded. To forgive her is not an issue but to forget is the pain. I think once a cheat will forever remain one. But at the same time, I do not want to lose her to the other man.
Despite common wisdom, someone who has cheated once will not necessarily cheat again. If you can accept this premise, then the next logical questions – especially if your wife has had an affair – are: “How can I know whether they are cheating again?” and “How can I ever trust my wife again?”
The answers to these questions can be found in how you and your wife relate to each other. When a partner is cheating, there are almost always signs in their relationship that something is not right. In looking back, you can probably see that in some significant way, especially when it comes to sexually satisfying her, maybe you neglected her complaint and you did not look for solution to your chronic premature ejaculation case on time. There are treatments all over the place. As a matter of fact, we have lots of natural herbs available that will cure you permanently called 36-hours-of -freedom and some other highly effective and highly recommended herbs. Whatever the situation, you probably sensed that something was wrong. And what you passed off as a “slump” or maybe just being the way relationships are, was actually a sign of a deeper problem. I would suggest you get yourself treated and give her a second chance.
Does stress destroy sex?
I work under a heavy stressful environment but unlike my wife’s belief, I manage my sex life very well but she thinks it’s a subtle destroyer.
Some people do many things well when they’re stressed. Feeling sexy usually isn’t one of them, but there are few exceptional cases, which you happen to fall under. Whatever the case may be, kindly find time to minimise your stress level. Another thing that can destroy sex is problems with your partner are among the top sex-drive killers. For women, feeling close is a major part of desire. For both sexes, watch for fallout from fights, poor communication, feeling betrayed, or other trust issues. And too much of alcohol, a drink may make you feel more open to sex. But too much alcohol can numb your sex drive. Being drunk can also be a turn-off for your partner. If you have trouble drinking less, seek help. If you’re not getting enough sleep, it may also destroy your sex life. Do you go to bed too late or rise too early? Do you have a sleep problem like trouble falling or staying asleep, or a condition such as sleep apnea? Anything that messes with a good night’s rest can mess with sex. Fatigue saps sexy feelings.
Can sex make one have hiccups?
Sex is an active exercise, especially when you experiment with different styles and positions, more especially some weird positions. With these different positions, some partners have reported having experienced hiccups. So, sex in itself does not cause hiccups but the activities around it. Your best bet is to avoid hiccup triggers like carbonated drinks, eating too much, or swallowing air during sex.
My husband keeps giving me yeast infections
I love having sex with my husband. But he isn’t always very hygienic. I feel as though after I have sex with him when he hasn’t washed for a long time, I get a yeast infection. I’ve got two yeast infections in three months (or even a little bit less). I’d NEVER had a yeast infection before in my life. Is it possible to get yeast infections from this? And how do I tell him in a nice way?
Hannah
Have you had any talks with your husband about his personal hygiene practices? I know that it can be uncomfortable and that you don’t want to hurt his feelings. I think that having an open and honest conversation, no matter how uncomfortable, is the best. It will only be uncomfortable for a little bit and hopefully you will both come out better for it. Please tell him, go take a shower or no sex!!! Then stick to it even if you have to say it over and again. Go to the doctor and get tested for Chlamydia, a common STD in young women. It might not be a yeast infection – the symptoms are similar. It is really important that you get tested for Chlamydia once a year if you are younger than 25 – your reproductive health is at risk here. Your doctor may need to investigate why you are getting frequent yeast infections and may be able to prescribe something to help prevent future ones: that if not treated, it is possible to pass the infection back and forth among yourselves. Research has revealed that the most common sexual cause of yeast infections is oral sex. There’s much more bacteria in a mouth than on a penis. So, refrain from oral sex the next time and see if that helps.
Do men have Fibroids?
No! men do not have fibroid, they are majorly found in women and mostly in the uterus. Men do not have fibroids because they do not have a womb, otherwise called uterus. Uterine fibroids or fibroid in the womb are non-cancerous growths of the muscle tissue of the uterus. Fibroids can range in number and size from a single growth to multiple growths, and from very small to large, as many as 70% and 80% of all women may have fibroids by age 50.
Bed wetting shortly after the delivery of my baby
I noticed I bed wet shortly after the delivery of my baby. I went to the doctor who said it is not vesicovaginal fistula.
Worried Mabel
Hi Mabel, there is the possibility that if it is not vesicovaginal fistula, it may be over exertion on your bladder wall and the urethral. All you need to do is an active Kegel exercise.
It helps the couples to enjoy sex better, this is because the vagina of the wife firmly grips the penis of the husband while lovemaking is on. The way and manner the vaginal wall squeezes around the penis makes thrusting in and out more pleasing to the man. It assists the wife to help the husband to prevent premature ejaculation.
Kegel exercise helps the man to be able to control the rush of the sperm and urine at will which helps to increase the level of pleasure during sex. This is possible because the urethra is already exercised to automatically relax and tightened up while passing out urine. This is easily applicable to releasing spermatozoa also.
But when this muscle is weak, the wall of the vagina will not only become too roomy for the penis; the penis will easily slip out at random, this is usually a sex turn off and couples will fail to find much excitement in sex; and most times couples experience splitting and leakage of sperm.
The roomy vaginal wall may become so large that it may lead to prolapsed of the uterus.
Kegel exercise helps to prevent tears during normal vaginal delivery, this is possible because the vaginal wall is already accustomed to automatically relax and tighten up. More also when Kegel exercise is carefully carried out, the surrounding muscle of the vagina will not only be strong but will be flexible to accommodate any size of the baby.
It helps to prevent leakages of urine during sneezing, deep laughter, strenuous cough and urgency of urination both in the male and female.
It helps to tighten the vaginal wall and prevent prolapsed of the vagina and the uterus at old age.
Majority of my readers find it difficult to practise this exercise. Here is a simple way to get started.
Just place a reminder slip on your dressing mirror and tag it ‘’Kegel exercise’’.
This reminder slip should be placed on locations you visit at least thrice a day such as your kitchen wall, refrigerator, dressing drawer, car dashboard, and laptop and so on.
It can be easily done while passing urine, because it is the same muscle that controls the urethra [i.e. the urine pipe] that controls the vaginal wall.
For the ladies while urinating in the WC toilet, spread your kneels far apart and then stop the flow of urine for a couple of seconds and try counting 1-10 or 1-20 or 1-30 or 1-40, after that start urinating again and stop.
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