This is not the best of times for President Muhammad Buhari, who instead of taking a tour of states to commission developmental projects as dividends of democracy, is on a record sympathy tour, harvesting dividends of insecurity in different troubled states. It must be equally tasking for the Number One Citizen to contend with unsettling details of the destruction of lives and property which have become the order of the day. Despite the military training, his shoulder is being over burdened by the weight of consoling millions of grieving citizens who have either been displaced or distraught at the loss of loved ones.
Juggling so many balls in the air and trying to strike a balance between sympathy and matters of governance cannot be a walk in the park at this crucial period of political volatility, when the drones of electioneering campaigns dictate macabre dance steps. It is therefore not unusual for the Presidency to misstep in the complexity of such highly charged atmosphere which has provided fodder for critics.
As the President noted, some states which recorded more fatalities appeared to have managed their grief better than Benue State government, whose wailing team ensured that the conscience of the nation was put at stake when the state conducted mass burial for the 73 citizens murdered by suspected Fulani herdsmen on January 12, 2017. Rather than flow with the mood of the nation on that Black Day, the president played into the hands of another Aisha, when he chose to congratulate the winner of his 2017 Season’s Greetings Card via a tweet on the president’s official Twitter account.
Aisha Yesufu, Co-Convener of the Bring Back Our Girls (BBOG) Campaign led the team of disparagers, who lampooned the Commander-in-Chief and his handlers for such blunder in etiquette, accusing the President of being insensitive and heartless. The cavalier attitude is a pointer to a major flaw of this administration evidenced by the inability of the president to conduct on the spot assessment of the carnage.
While the dust was yet to settle on the Benue blooper, the President drew his detractors back into the ring. This time, his denigrator-in-chief, Ekiti State Governor Ayo Fayose led the attack. He said: “President Buhari is in Kano for the wedding of Fatima Ganduje, daughter of Kano State Governor, Dr. Abdullahi Umar Ganduje and Idris Ajimobi, son of Oyo State Governor, Abiola Ajimobi. The same President Buhari that refused to visit Dapchi in Yobe State where 110 schoolgirls were abducted by Boko Haram. He didn’t visit Benue State where 73 Nigerians were killed by Fulani herdsmen were buried in one day.”
The presidential shock absorbers could not withstand the barrage of criticisms which many believe led to the marathon visit by the President to the troubled states of Benue, Yobe, Taraba, and Zamfara. Little wonder Vice President Yemi Osinbajo being mindful of the public sentiment made sparse noise of his daughter’s wedding to the son of billionaire business woman, Hajia Bola Shagaya.
Contemporary shifts in culture have witnessed a declining sobriety of obsequies. Traditionally, issues bothering on death and burial ceremonies are usually marked in a dour manner, irrespective of the surface merriment that accompanies such events. It does become imperative to highlight and remind ourselves of the proper conduct when the grim reaper strikes.
The socially smart individual knows that even if the death of a loved one is announced through social media, it is not enough to restrict responses to social media handles alone. Official condolence messages should be conveyed through telephone calls, email, personal visits if possible, and where necessary a published condolence message. The choice of words must be apt, highlighting positive qualities of the dead and in tandem with the sensibilities of the grieving. While it is appropriate to cheer up the bereaved, extra care must be taken to avoid fouling up the somber atmosphere.
Although world renowned physicist, Stephen Hawking, who recently passed on once declared, ‘Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change,’ it is critical to note that the change does not obliterate the proper decorum of a staid event. While it is highly commendable that primitive practices which impose strict mourning regimen have been obliterated, it is not a license for impropriety at solemn events. A young girl drew the ire of family members when after a visit to the morgue to identify her late mother was overhead telephoning her friends requesting update of the party she missed at the nightclub! Some children of the deceased have set tongues wagging at funeral ceremonies due to the lack of decorum in dressing, comportment and thoughtfulness. It is not uncommon to see people draped in costumes akin to disco outfits while bearing wreaths and standing in front of the casket surrounded by wailing relatives. Such antithetical deportment is indecorous and condemnable.
Whether in word or deed, honouring the departed is a serious affair.
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