...no matter how well a man’s family and friends pretend to like you, it doesn’t change the man’s mind on the girl he wants for marriage.
He says he loves you and probably promises you marriage then you switch on your wifely mode and start wearing your wifely apron.
You cook, clean and serve him like a domesticated wife and you practically adore his family so as to get them on your side but the unfortunate news is, that no matter how well a man’s family and friends pretend to like you, it doesn’t change the man’s mind on the girl he wants for marriage.
It might get you a ring eventually but it will not get you the love you deserve.
If you are in a relationship with a man, you should let it flow to the next level naturally but if the expected flow is taking way too long to come after much sacrifice, it might just be that you are not investing in the right man.
There are always signs that the man you are with is not right for you.
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He knows you are not ‘the one’ but he leads you on.
A man knows where his heart is and whom he might spend the rest of his time with once he meets her.
That you dated a man for more than three years is not a guarantee that he will settle with you so refuse to be his backup plan.
It could be that one of the reasons why he is dating you for so long is because he is still not convinced that you are “THE ONE” hence he is dragging the relationship while shying away from a serious commitment to see if he would meet someone his heart yearns for, while at the same time, keeping you as a plan B or the next best thing should his mission become unfruitful.
Once he finds the one who matches the image in his head, certain things will change or even not change in your relationship with him because he doesn’t really know how to wriggle out of it without feeling like he is callous or have everyone pointing the left finger at him.
He begins to set you up and constantly presses your red buttons so you would be the one to give up and quit even if the quitting is you giving him some space for a short time, he capitalises on it as the perfect excuse to end the relationship.
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He suddenly gives you reasons to break up with him, and you keep tolerating his attitude because you love him that much but the moment you decide you need a break, he makes sure to fuel the crisis and indirectly ensures that the rift gets bigger while making you feel guilty of being the cause of the break up.
It just didn’t take him that long to move on after a break up
Just few months later after you break up with him, you get the news that he is walking down the aisle with someone else.
Girlfriend it’s okay, don’t beat yourself up because he was never going to marry you anyways. He just wasn’t the right man! Sometimes, a man can use a woman to fill up a temporary loneliness in his life while he uses that opportunity to scan round in search of the girl that he thinks would fill it up permanently.
You get the good girl praise but …
Okay, you have become this perfect wife material just to prove your worth and he showers you with praises for being this good and yet he showers another girl with all the material benefits while you get the praise benefit.
I am not sure this makes any perfect sense as at the end of the day, with all his praises for you, he moves on to settle with another girl and probably tells you the problem is not ‘YOU’.
You become heartbroken as you were sure he would settle for you after demonstrating all those wifely and motherly skills your mum taught you. Not sure it’s a good idea to take up such role for a man who has not put a ring on your finger.
If a man sings your praises but does not ‘seek’ to take care of your material needs to the best of his ability and he is in a good position to (even if you have your own), then there is a switch that is turned off somewhere. Love is equivalent to giving and you cannot show love without giving.
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He has been dating you for years but shies away from meeting members of your family
This is a red flag to me and you should clearly read the handwriting on the wall. When a man you have been dating feels uncomfortable meeting your family members (not for official purposes), then you should have a rethink.
Beware of gold-diggers
You don’t need me preaching this to you. If a man is just collecting financial support from you without making any effort to be a man and be independent, then be rest assured he will walk away and move to the next best thing once he has collected enough.
Two can actually play that game but you need to be smart enough to know how and when to invest in the right man.
Do not hold on to a relationship that has a serious crack simply because you desperately want your status and identity to change as at the end, it causes you more pain than joy. You are worth much more than the value you place on yourself.
The right man is always around the corner and you will find him once you free your mind. Even if you succeed in bending a man to marry you, always know that there is more to marriage than just walking down the aisle.
True love is never that far but you need to learn how to attract it to yourself. Don’t gate crash into it, and it will come looking for you.
Written by Laurel Ake.
Laurel helps people achieve their relationship goals and live a fulfilling life. A motivational/relationship speaker & life coach, inspiring and motivating people to become the best they can be. She believes you can and you should.
She is a wife and mum. Facebook: hearttalkwithlaurel.com Blog : hearttalkwithlaurel.com email@hearttalkwithlaurel.com Let’s be friends on Instagram: http://ift.tt/2C0etD3
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