He helps with my bills and I care about him but I'm not attracted to him and I don't love him.
Dear Bukky,
I am a medical student with an unsupportive dad. I need money almost all the time but I have a boyfriend that helps with that.
I care about him but I am not attracted to him physically and I am not in love with him.
He is like a safe bet and financial supporter but he says he loves me. He wants to get married but I am hesitant, thinking I will meet the right person before I commit to marrying someone I don't love.
Is it OK to marry someone because of financial reasons and total lack of chemistry? I am in a bind.________________
Dear reader,
People marry for various reasons and you won't be the first to marry for financial reasons if you decide to go ahead with this one.
But here's the thing; marriage is not about money or love or attraction or any of those things. It's a summation of all that and a whole lot more.
The key here is in deciding what your priorities are. If staying in school and getting that degree is paramount on your mind, this guy is your sure bet except your bills begin to flow in from somewhere else.
And to be sincere, I do not think it's such a terrible situation.
ALSO READ: I'm not physically or emotionally attracted to my boyfriend
As you'd discover about most relationships; two unknown people meet under some of the most unlike circumstances, somehow become friends, share pasts and become inseparably tied in love through several shared moments, secrets and a need for each other.
It's in the course of this friendship and interaction of hearts that love, attraction and passion blossoms.
Attraction can be worked on and love can surely be nurtured to grow into something remarkably beautiful but it takes willingness and an openness to the idea.
You probably feel this way because you've not even allowed yourself explore the idea. I think the least the man deserves is a chance. Give him a genuine one and see where things lead from there.
______________
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