The African concept of love, relationship and marriage have an expected role for women to play.
The African concept of love, relationships and marriage over the centuries have certain specific expectations of females.
Females are supposed to cook, clean, be of good disposition, be poise, never talk too much or talk back, can’t be overly ambitious, be good wives and greater mothers and always most importantly know how to keep a home and their men.
Modern views
Now, with the changing world and enlightenment in the African community it is being recognized that the expectations of the female child is rather ridiculous, women aren’t God and they cannot do all that is expected of them perfectly and they cannot be of a particular disposition.
Today, women are being recognized as more humans than machines and are given the leverage to think their thoughts and be who they are and who they want to be, sadly I cannot say this is present in all African communities but this awareness thanks to women rights movements all around the world have improve the way the world perceives females which is simply amazing.
A kept man
However, one of the most alarming things that hasn't seemed to change with the times so far is the notion that “A man should be kept” which still strongly believed by many. Many women and men today including of all age ranges including millennials have been sucked into believing this falsehood that a good woman knows how to keep her man. She is supposed to know what will make him happy and loyal to her and their relationship.
Is this really true or is this a fallacy? Why should a man be kept? Is he a pair of shoes? If you agree that a man should be kept by his woman and she should do everything in her power to keep him with her so he doesn't go astray, then you can also agree with me that he can be called a shoe a new pair of Chanel shoes or a new pair of Christian Louboutin’s if a man can be kept as a shoe is kept.
Many men love this idea of them being this priceless article that should be kept but still on this theory, if he agrees he should be kept therefore he agrees he can be referred to as an object which can be put up on glass shelves or changed and discarded just like a used pair of leather shoes that has lost its allure to the owner when the leather is old and flakey.
By agreeing to this societal notion you are objectifying the male species making them as good as old or new pairs of shoes which you either keep or discard. Love for a while and do whatever you want with them, how demeaning!
A man is a whole human being and not an object, and that should be respected no one likes being objectified and no human being should be. A relationship is a partnership between two people to share their lives and emotions with each other, the main word being ''share''.
A woman is a partner not a shoe owner or keeper so I employ us to correct our old and demeaning traditions. Less of keep your man and more of understand each other, less of be his backbone, his safe place and more of be each other’s biggest supporters. More of share each other’s burdens and joys and do everything within our strengths to make our relationships and marriages work together because it’s the duty of both parties to ensure that they are in a successful and loving relationship.
Written by Dee Awata
Dee Awata is an accounting major, content creator and a life and style blogger. She aspires to inspire with her words and travel the world doing what she loves most which is writing, designing and photography. You can link up with her on her social media platforms @deeawata on instagram and deeawata.wordpress.com on her personal blog.